Now when I wake from sleep or rise from
I flood with heat, the memory of here,
And how I came to pass this way;
And from the corner of my eye
I catch a stranger pass behind the glass
A charlatan in my array.
At the time she wrote this, Sandra was on Arimidex, one of the side-effects of which can be hot flushes which she was continually plagued by. She was also aware that the physical and emotional strain of the disease and treatment had started to make her look older than she had previously. She was especially aware of her hair, which had always, in her view, been her best feature: remaining a lush, deep black throughout the whole of her life, even through the first bout of chemotherapy, but thinning significantly during the second bout ("old ladies' hair", as she called it).